Compelling Soccer

Yesterday, I laid out my thought process in choosing a team. But while my situation maybe informative, it's not nearly as nice as a guide, clearly laying out your options.

Today, I'm happy to provide a nice handy breakdown with the pros and cons of any choice you make when selecting your team. There's no such thing as a perfect choice after all. But with this you can make the selection which works best for you.


Joining The Big Dogs: Picking the team that's winning.

Rationale: Everyone loves a winner.

Irrationale: Who would resent me? The more the merrier!

Fan Reaction: "Oh great another one. Bet he can't name four players off this team."

Integrity: None. Have you no shame sir? You earned nothing, nothing!

Jersey Purchase: Essential. Name player is also required. Positive points if you choose an obscure jersey for odd reasons.

Best Outcome: The team keeps winning for years to come. They stay on top so long that you stick around long enough people stop caring that you joined up 10 years ago because they won. This especially helps if you've taken the 10 years to learn four players off the team. Really though, you're just setting it up for your kids. They can claim they were fans for life and how their mom/dad always cared about the team. Plus, their innocence will prevent them from questioning your integrity for at least 10 years.

Worst Outcome: Team falls off and you bolt with them. Your remaining credibility is shot and all your affiliations will be questioned from here on out. I mean every one. Your friends will secretly joke you're only with your girlfriend until someone "better" comes around. Of course it's insecurity because they know you'll ditch them if given the opportunity to hang out with someone cooler. Think I'm going overboard? Remember when Lebron loved Bassy Telfair? Now he's all about Steph Curry. If I was you Steph, I'd start looking for someone a little more reliable.

Likely Outcome: Unless you're an idiot front runner who literally just took the last team that won, you'll probably get the medium. Top teams like Man U, Arsenal or stateside, the Yankees, tend to be stay on top for a while. Invariably, there will be lean years though. How you react will determine your worth as a human being.